Tag: binge eating disorder recovery
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Dump The Scales Speech
Yesterday, 27th April 2024, I had the honour of speaking at the #DumpTheScales march in London. For those who couldn’t attend (or hear over the helicopter above our heads), here is my speech. I lived with an eating disorder for over 40 years, mostly binge eating disorder, or BED. I think I first binged around…
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Sunshine through the rain
I’ve been crying a lot lately. So much that I even caught myself crying on camera. But the shocking thing to me is not that I cried. It’s that I allowed the camera to keep rolling, then posted it online. I pushed myself so far out of my comfort zone that I showed my vulnerability,…
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I binged today. Here’s what I learned.
I say I’m in recovery from BED for a reason. It might be over four months since I last binged, I may be succeeding in my intuitive eating journey, but at times of stress, I still sometimes return to those thoughts and behaviours that sustained me since childhood. Today was one of those times. I…
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Learning to live with anger
Of all the emotions I buried with food, anger was the one that scared me the most. It seemed so destructive, so terrifying. I had this image of myself exploding with fury and releasing vitriol on such a scale that I would destroy everyone and everything around me. This, of course, was to be avoided…
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Who Am I Without My Eating Disorder?
I was around 8 years old when I developed binge eating disorder symptoms. Those behaviours continued for 40 years, sometimes with purging, and with varying levels of restriction. Sometimes I went for a while without bingeing. But basically, BED (and all the other stuff that goes along with it) has been a constant throughout my…
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It’s been 2 days since I bought a tub of ice-cream and I haven’t eaten it
I should explain. Ice-cream is my ultimate binge food. Not in the way that movies portray it, that cliche where the skinny actress turns to it after a breakup. No, for me it was much more than that. It was capable of consuming my every waking thought. On a bad day, I would plan my…
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The BED Post blog is a year old
November 2020. A global pandemic. Dark evenings. Boredom. And I decided it was time. Time to tell my story, on my own terms. Time to take what I had learned challenging stigma as a mental health champion in the real world. Time to face my fears and go online. I googled “how to start a…
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Am I addicted to sugar?
This week, Richard Osman opened up about what he referred to as food addiction, and it got me thinking: am I a sugar addict? There have been times is my life when I’ve wondered if I’m addicted to sugar. Pretty much every binge I’ve ever had contained at least a sweet component, anything from cereal…
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Avoidance
It’s been a few weeks since I last wrote a post. I’d convinced myself that I’ve been too busy. And it’s true, a lot has happened since I visited my parents. I’ve started a new job, which has meant a lot of new things to learn. I’ve started physiotherapy, and been diagnosed with fibromylagia. I…