I should explain. Ice-cream is my ultimate binge food. Not in the way that movies portray it, that cliche where the skinny actress turns to it after a breakup. No, for me it was much more than that. It was capable of consuming my every waking thought. On a bad day, I would plan my trip to the shop to buy it on my way home from work before I even left the house. It was my friend, my enemy, my very best way of numbing the emotions I didn’t want to feel.
Therapy didn’t change this, though it helped me massively to understand why I binged, and to learn to sit with emotions rather than being scared of them. And nearly two years into my intuitive eating journey, ice-cream is one of the few foods I still struggle with. I crave it less often, but when I want and buy it, I will eat at least half within a couple of hours.
But today, I realised I bought a tub of ice-cream two days ago and hadn’t thought about it since. It’s sitting in the freezer unopened. Words cannot express how momentous that is. I’m thinking about ice-cream now because I want to eat some, not because I’m upset, or angry, or bored, or overwhelmed. So I will eat some, and enjoy the experience without guilt.
But I couldn’t let this moment pass without marking it in some way, because it shows just how far I’ve come. It’s a sign that full recovery is truly possible, and that I am getting there.
And now I’m off to enjoy that ice-cream.
Have a wonderful day, whatever you are doing, and don’t forget to enjoy those small victories along the way.