Tag: eating disorder recovery
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Freedom
So much time wasted, lost To the voice in my head That told me I was unworthy Of joy, love, freedom to be Myself. Not that I knew who that was, Too busy trying to bend, to fit Into someone else’s mould. Not that it helped Because the mould kept changing. I could never be…
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Swimwear and scars
Content warning: this post mentions sexual assault. A friend shared a story recently about her struggle with showing her scar in a bikini. It was really inspiring and it got me thinking. I don’t have scars like my friend, well not external ones. Yet it occured to me that I’ve never worn a bikini. Definitely…
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Resolutions to aid Eating Disorder recovery
It’s that time of year again. Christmas is over and we’re being bomabarded with diet and fitness ads, “New Year, New You” slogans, and promises of increased health and happiness. So to counteract all that, here’s some suggestions for New Year resolutions which will actively support your mental health and aid your recovery. How do…
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Two unlikely tools that helped my eating disorder recovery.
Looking back, way back to the beginning, I am starting to see how my eating disorder began. I’m starting to realise the functions that bingeing served. Because bingeing, and all eating disorder behaviours, happen for a reason. They serve a purpose. Even if we don’t realise it at the time. For me, two purposes of…
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Ice-cream: The Final Frontier
I’ve been practising intuitive eating for a good two or three years now. I’ve discovered I’m not particularly a biscuit person, I’m not addicted to chocolate, stale crisps are not nice, mature cheeses are too strong, and I feel better in myself when I add in gentle nutrition. So why was I still struggling with…
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Stolen Years
Allowing myself to feel, To cry, To realise just how much you stole from me. Peace, inner calm, The strength to be myself. The courage to admit just how terrified I was. Sapping my self-esteem Till I felt worthless, unworthy of any joy. The feeling of dread That they would all realise I was a…
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Blue skies
I’m slowly learning to see blue skies When I was taught to see the grey The thunderclouds of disappointment The sharp lightning strikes of shame I’m starting to see the marvel of rainbows Fractured light through drops of rain The hidden beauty found when sorrow Gives way to hope as life begins again I will…
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Fury, fibromyalgia, and the big fat Twitter storm
Fury I woke this morning from a dream where I was manhandling a doctor who had looked at my body and laughed when I told him I had had an eating disorder. Screaming in his thin, male face, I grabbed him by his collar and wanted to smash the back of his head against a…