The BED Post

The Binge Eating Disorder Recovery blog

Category: eating disorder recovery

  • The BED Post blog is back!

    It’s been a long time since I published a blog post. Those of you who follow me on Instagram will know 2024 was a successful year of campaigning offline, speaking at the #DumpTheScales march in London, being a committee and panel member at ED/MD 2024, and giving evidence to the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Eating…

  • A book launch and the importance of hope.

    It’s been an exciting week here at the BED Post blog! I was lucky enough to be invited to the launch of a new book, Eating Disorders Don’t Discriminate, at YouTube’s London headquarters, and to meet some amazing people who have inspired me over the years. Going in, I had no idea what to expect….

  • Sunshine through the rain

    I’ve been crying a lot lately. So much that I even caught myself crying on camera. But the shocking thing to me is not that I cried. It’s that I allowed the camera to keep rolling, then posted it online. I pushed myself so far out of my comfort zone that I showed my vulnerability,…

  • Short letter, long words

    I had an MRI a few weeks back to help figure out what is causing my pain. This week, I received a very short letter with the results. It was full of long words I didn’t understand. Words I wasn’t expecting. Scary words: disc protrusion, stenosis, foraminal narrowing. The second paragraph talked about pain, and…

  • I binged today. Here’s what I learned.

    I say I’m in recovery from BED for a reason. It might be over four months since I last binged, I may be succeeding in my intuitive eating journey, but at times of stress, I still sometimes return to those thoughts and behaviours that sustained me since childhood. Today was one of those times. I…

  • Have decades of eating my feelings down made me emotionally illiterate?

    I grew up believing feelings were bad. I was told I was too emotional, oversensitive, that I needed not to take things so personally. So I stopped talking about feelings, and did my best not to have them. Bingeing became my go-to when I needed to put a lid on those pesky, unwanted emotions. The…

  • ED recovery through chronic illness

    It was all going so well. I had gone through therapy, weaned off antidepressants, and quit smoking. I was learning to deal with emotions, hate my body less and treat it better. But gradually, I started to feel more tired, have pain in my hips, ankles and feet, until walking up the hill to my…

  • Learning to live with anger

    Of all the emotions I buried with food, anger was the one that scared me the most. It seemed so destructive, so terrifying. I had this image of myself exploding with fury and releasing vitriol on such a scale that I would destroy everyone and everything around me. This, of course, was to be avoided…

  • An apology to my body

    Body, I’m sorrySorry for starving youFor not nourishing youFor not giving you what you needed Body, I’m sorrySorry for overfeeding youFor sometimes purging youMy mind said it was what I needed Body, I’m sorrySorry for ignoring youFor not listening to youWhen you told me what you needed Body, I’m sorrySorry for hating youFor physically hurting…

  • Who Am I Without My Eating Disorder?

    I was around 8 years old when I developed binge eating disorder symptoms. Those behaviours continued for 40 years, sometimes with purging, and with varying levels of restriction. Sometimes I went for a while without bingeing. But basically, BED (and all the other stuff that goes along with it) has been a constant throughout my…