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COVID, anxiety, and floating
October 10th 2021. World Mental Health Day. I leave the house and go to a local event. Have a great time. Make plans to see friends again soon. The sun is shining and I’m feeling good about getting back to “normality”. One day later, October 11th. I go to my first face to face external…
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Burnout
I’ve been absent from social media for a little while. This post explains why. Basically, my real, offline, life has has been taking all I have to give lately. Today has been a pretty good day. I’ve started a week of annual leave, met up with a friend, and accomplished a couple of tasks I…
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Breaking my silence
This week marks a year since I finally had THAT conversation with my mother. The one where I finally told her the secret I had kept for forty years… I told my parents about my diagnosis of BED a few years ago, when I started treatment. We had a few conversations about what it involved,…
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Sunshine through the rain
I’ve been crying a lot lately. So much that I even caught myself crying on camera. But the shocking thing to me is not that I cried. It’s that I allowed the camera to keep rolling, then posted it online. I pushed myself so far out of my comfort zone that I showed my vulnerability,…
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Short letter, long words
I had an MRI a few weeks back to help figure out what is causing my pain. This week, I received a very short letter with the results. It was full of long words I didn’t understand. Words I wasn’t expecting. Scary words: disc protrusion, stenosis, foraminal narrowing. The second paragraph talked about pain, and…
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Blame
“It’s your fault!”Words spat at me,Twisted mouth,Finger pointing:“It’s all your fault!” What’s my fault?Daring to exist?Being born?Being conceived?What is my fault? What’s my fault?That you go out?Drink too much?Throw things at us?Is that my fault? What’s my fault?Being a kidIn a lifeI didn’t choose?That’s not my fault. It’s yours.