Time to Change – The BED Post

Time to Talk Day 2023

#TimeToTalkDay is a day of conversations about mental health. It’s a day to check in with others, share experiences, and most of all, to challenge stigma around mental illness. Even though the Time to Change campaign is no more, the day is still marked by Mind, Rethink Mental Illness, Co-op, and of course, those Champions from the original campaign, albeit under different banners.

I joined the campaign in 2017. I was a very different person back then, and in a very different place mentally. Still unwell, on antidepressants and in therapy, very unsure of myself, and fairly new to being open about my mental health issues, I wasn’t strong enough to campaign fully yet, so I started small. I wrote an email to my friends and colleagues at work, some of whom knew about my issues, some who didn’t. Here’s what I wrote:

Hi all,

Today is Time to Talk Day. Many of you already know this is a cause that means a lot to me. It’s a few years now since I made the decision to be open about my mental health issues, and I have never regretted it, not once. When I was first diagnosed with depression, age 21 and on the verge of failing my final year at university, I didn’t even tell my parents. Finally, thanks to campaigns like Time to Talk and Mind’s 1 in 4, the stigma is disappearing, and the isolation I used to feel is firmly in the past.

We all have some knowledge of mental health issues, it’s part of our daily job, so I won’t bore you with the details of the exhaustion, shame, and frustration my conditions cause me. Instead I want to use today to say thank you.

Thank you for not judging. Thank you for noticing when I’m having a bad day and checking I’m OK. Thank you for sharing stories of people with similar issues so I know I’m not alone. Thank you for seeing me as me, not as a mental illness. Thank you for making me laugh. Thank you for helping me feel “normal” (whatever that is). It makes a massive difference and it’s what today is all about.

Kind regards,

Sharon

I agonised over that email, and was terrified to press send. But of course, my colleagues’ and friends’ response was as kind as ever. It gave me the courage to keep speaking out, having those conversations, and challenging stigma. To join my local hub, where I found more friends with inspiring stories. And then eventually, to start this blog and social media accounts dedicated to those very same things.

You see, Time to Talk Day, and conversations about mental health, can make a massive difference. They can give strength, courage, and support. They can change people’s minds and beliefs. They can create a ripple that spreads out and touches more hearts and minds than you ever thought possible.

This Time to Talk Day, I hope you find the courage to be open, speak out, or just ask a loved one how they are. And if you’re not sure what to say or do, you won’t go wrong by starting with those things I was grateful for back in 2017, because those were things that helped give me the strength to recover, and keep fighting to stay in recovery: friendship, understanding, and love.

If you’d like know more, click here: https://timetotalkday.co.uk/

Stigma and Time to Change

This blog was written for a local council to mark Time to Talk Day 2021.

A 2015 parliament paper* describes Mental Health stigma using Time to Change’s definition: “the set of negative attitudes, pre-judgements, prejudices and behaviour that can make it harder for inviduals with mental health problems to live a normal life”.

Time To Change has been challenging Mental Health stigma since 2007 on a national level, and more recently on a local level through its community hubs. I am a “champion”, or volunteer, with the Northamptonshire Time to Change Hub. Champions have lived experience of mental illness. My experience goes back to childhood, although my first diagnosis, depression, was at 21. It wasn’t something I shared. No-one did back then.

At the time that parliament paper was published in 2015, I was receiving treatment for depression, anxiety and Binge Eating Disorder. I was also rebuilding my life after literally losing everything. The reasons for this were complex, but mental health stigma and discrimination played a part, even though I did my best to assert my rights.

I had started a new job, and was open about my mental ill-health for the first time. To a point. Because anxiety attacks are difficult to hide. I was wary and careful to notice how my new colleagues responded. Most people accepted me without judgement, and it was such a relief! My new employer also allowed me the space and time to go through therapy and group work with the Eating Disorders Service, and phase off my anti-depressants when I was ready.

It hasn’t all been perfect, thoughtless comments are still commonplace. Particularly around Binge Eating Disorder, which most seem to think is about greed and lack of willpower. I have received so much diet advice over the years, even from healthcare professionals who should know better. But I’ll save that for Eating Disorders Week in March…

I first heard about Time to Change and Time to Talk Day in 2017. The message struck a chord, and I decided to write an email to my team, thanking them for their support and acceptance. I remember being so scared as I pressed “send”, then shedding more than a few tears at the kind responses I received. At this point I realised the power of sharing my story, not just for others, but for myself. My aim had been to help prevent other people from going through what I had, and yet the more open I was, the more my own self-confidence grew.

It is now 4 years since I sent that email. This Time to Talk Day I’m in recovery and talking to strangers online. It has become second nature for me to challenge mental health stigma whenever and wherever I see it. I am learning that I am enough, that I don’t have to hide who I really am. I am finding my voice. I have started to write. I have a sense of belonging I never had before. Yes, I have helped others by being a part of the Northamptonshire Time to Change Hub, but it has given me so much in return.

*https://www.parliament.uk/business/publications/research/key-issues-parliament-2015/social-change/mental-health-stigma/#:~:text=What%20is%20mental%20health%20stigma,to%20live%20a%20normal%20life.

Time to Talk Day 2021: The Power of Small

This year, the theme of time to talk day is the power of small. People underestimate the small things, but they mean so much, and they can lead to something very big indeed.

For me, it really did all start with those small conversations. Now and then, when a friend or colleague asked how I was, I would tell the truth. Just something small like “I’m having a bad day today.” I didn’t need to say any more than that, I often didn’t want to say more, it would have been too overwhelming. But I’d acknowledged the elephant in the room, or the black dog if you will. I’d said nothing, but somehow everything. I was openly acknowledging that I was mentally unwell, that I wasn’t OK, and that that, in itself, was OK.

Then I heard about Time to Change, and the next Time to Talk Day I wrote an email thanking those friends and colleagues for being there, for understanding that I was more than my mental illness. It might have seemed small, but it was massive. I was so scared. And very anxious. But I will never regret pressing “send”.

And this Time to Talk Day? The power of small is well and truly showing itself. Time to Change Northamptonshire has been running for 18 months now. Plucking up the courage to attend my first meeting was another small thing I’ll never regret. Being around people who get it. The support, the encouragement, the jokes and banter! One small step at a time, that email has turned into events like tonight’s. I’ll be sitting there speaking to a bunch of strangers about personal stuff! It’s turned into poems. I’ve even started a blog! It’s like I’m some sort of stigma fighting superhero!

Well maybe not quite. But there’s one thing that can’t be denied: that small decision to become a Time to Change Champion has changed me forever. That sad, anxious women I used to be is long gone. Well mostly. As long as she doesn’t have to see the dentist during a global pandemic! Yes, there were tears! And the closest thing to a panic attack I’ve had in years. But I made it through.

And when there’s no dentist in sight, there’s a new confidence. The sort of confidence that the old, ill me could never have dreamed of. A confidence borne from being among people who support me, believe in me, and encourage me to find that inner voice I never knew was there. That is what being a champion means to me, and that is the power of small.