November 2020. A global pandemic. Dark evenings. Boredom. And I decided it was time. Time to tell my story, on my own terms. Time to take what I had learned challenging stigma as a mental health champion in the real world. Time to face my fears and go online.
I googled “how to start a blog” and got stuck in. I had no idea what I was doing. I didn’t know any bloggers, but at least I’d read a few blogs. I wasn’t even really active on social media. But hey, what had I got to lose? Most likely no-one would read what I wrote anyway. And I intended the site to be anonymous so it wouldn’t matter.
It was time to think of a name. I finally settled on The BED Post, because that’s exactly what it is. I post about BED. But the name also references the silence and secrecy that so often goes hand in hand with BED and ED behaviours. And finally, there’s an implied naughtiness that amuses me. Who doesn’t love a cheeky double entendre, right?
On 16th November 2020, after a week or two of playing around trying to figure out what I was doing, a lot of swearing, and a few sleepless nights, I finally hit “publish” and The BED Post blog was born.
And then absolutely nothing happened for over two months…
It wasn’t until the end of January 2021 that I posted again, and started the Instagram account in readiness for Time to Talk Day and Eating Disorders Awareness Week. Then things really started to pick up…
By April I had broken my anonymity and was starting to have fun experimenting with photos and reels on Instagram. Then in May the lovely BarefootRebel Zoe Burnett encouraged me to start using the Twitter account. I was discovering just how much I enjoy creating, finding my voice in a rather public way. And getting to know so many wonderful, supportive people in the online ED recovery community.
I’m not sure what, if anything, I expected when I started The BED Post blog, but I didn’t anticipate that it would support my own recovery so much. It has taught me the importance of pushing myself (but not too hard), facing my fears, feeling my feelings, being honest, learning new skills. It is helping me find out more about myself: both past, sicker me, and who I want to be in recovery.
And I certainly never expected such wonderful feedback. Messages and replies from amazing people who have reached out to share their experience, let me know something I posted helped, ask a question. Likes from people who I have never met but are becoming friends. I am so grateful for the many ways these people have enriched my life, and feel privileged that my work might have made the tiniest difference to someone else’s.
The BED Post blog and social media accounts might be small, but I’m still pretty proud of this past year. After all, I’m just a middle aged woman oversharing online in the hope I can help someone else feel less alone, less worthless, and more hopeful that recovery is possible.
So thank you to everyone who has followed, read, watched, liked or glanced at The BED Post blog’s content this year. I appreciate every single one of you. And I hope you’ll join me in discovering what the next year brings.